Valentine’s Day is perennially celebrated as the “most romantic day of the year” but remember, it is not only about sending flowers, chocolates, and a card to your significant other, it is about loving yourself. If you’re going to be alone, use the opportunity to spend some quality time focusing on your inherent lovability and doing something for yourself. That’s what you have the power to control.

Start off by committing to value yourself in the way you believe you deserve to be valued, instead of waiting for the outside world to validate and give you love.  Try not to seek reinforcement and reassurance of your worth from others, even in the form of gifts that may or may not disappoint you. Here are some tips on how you can love and take better care of yourself every day.

  • Listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts
  • Put yourself first when you feel you can
  • Make decisions that will fulfill your aspirations
  • Do something nice for yourself that is within your control to execute at least once a week
  • Be compassionate with yourself

Remember, learning to believe and sustain your inherent lovability is really important.

For those of you, recovering from a breakup or a loss, Valentine’s Day, can be a dreaded holiday. Here are some ways to help you think outside the box and get you through your day with a little more joy and a little less apprehension.

  • Don’t be afraid to ask others for what you need. Maybe this is socializing with another couple, initiating a plan with a friend, suggesting dinner for a few people (even if some or all of them are couples). Be honest and authentic with the request and explain why it’s important to you to be around your friends.
  • If there’s something you associate with Valentine’s Day; flowers, chocolate, etc., buy these items for yourself. Take the initiative to shower yourself with the same love that you would hope someone else would give you.
  • Think about ways that you can express love to someone else that will make you feel good even if it will never be reciprocated. For example, stop by an assisted living facility to say “Hi” and gift them with a bouquet of flowers. It’s unlikely your gesture will be reciprocated but it will make you feel the spirit of love embodied in the day.
  •  If there’s something you’ve been meaning to see or do that’s a little indulgent, take the time to give yourself a gift. Spend the day being your own best companion and friend. Relish your own company and have fun doing something you enjoy.

So, if you’re struggling, remind yourself of your core value and worth in the world. Remember to treat yourself as special and shower yourself with all the love you want and need to have a great Valentine’s Day!


Have you ever wondered how to get more out of life? 

Well, now you don’t have to. After over 20 years of interactions with clients, Dr. Guttman developed the “Sustainable Life Satisfaction” series which assists individuals in believing in their personal effectiveness in the world.

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